A Three Headed Dog

There are several misconceptions about Bipolar Disorder that I find to be very understandable. Complete bullshit, of course, but understandable. Because of these misconceptions, and the associated stigma, I spent far too long denying what was going on, and trying to find other reasons why I seemed to have such a hard time, sometimes. When I write about my experience with Bipolar, I will be using terms that are not always considered kosher by other people in the mental health field/people with mental health disorders. I will describe my actions or feelings as "crazy", for example. I am meaning that as a descriptor, not a judgment. Think of it as short hand for "outside of the range of actions and emotions I would normally have, either to the depressive or manic side". See. Crazy is just much easier. I prefer it, and that's a personal choice.

Anyway, misconceptions. The one I want to address right now is what I think to be the most basic misconception.

The title of the disease says it all, doesn't it? BI-POLAR. Bi- Two. Polar-dual, two, opposing ends. This creates the impression that I, as a Bipolar American (bwahahaha!), only cycle between two states. Crazy happy and crazy sad. Also, it seems to have the connotation of being a rapid shift from one to another.


*ahem*
"Hey sweetie, where's that soda you bought? Oh, you forgot? No biggie."
--elapse 5 minutes--
"YOU'RE CALLING ME FAT, AREN'T YOU?? I'M A FAT LARD AND YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"
*scene*

Crazy bitch. Typical Bipolar. (Yeah, not so much)

That simply isn't true. Does that happen on occasion in life? SURE DOES. We have all seen someone freaking lose it over something trivial, seemingly out of nowhere. But it doesn't make that person Bipolar. Usually, its hormonal, or just a crappy day, or they have a pattern of irratic behavior at their baseline.

Additionally, most people with Bipolar don't cycle that quickly between emotions. Yes, they can shift on a dime, but more often, they are sneaky little buggers. Your emotions seem to be completely stable, maybe its just a bad day--like a doll sitting on the floor. You look away for a minute, and when you look back that Chucky doll is just a little closer. No...no, it can't be. Its just a doll, everything is fine- HOLY SHIT IT MOVED AGAIN. The first few times, you might ignore it. But once the little bastard is stabbing you in the leg, you then have to notice it.

Which brings me to my next point. Life for me is not a series of horrible, terrible, Eeyore/BlackBolt-like months or weeks, followed immediately by euphoric joy and Tigger/Flash-like qualities. I have pleanty of "normal" times. In fact, its MOSTLY normal. Now, I have good days and bad days like anyone else. Every time I'm a little hyper and feeling great is not a hypomanic or manic episode. I'm a ball of sunshine and chitter-chatter most of the time. Every time I'm feeling sad or down does not mean I'm depressed. Being sad is a normal part of life. Being depressed shouldn't have to be.

I have normal times. I have good times. I have great times. I have CRAZY HAPPY times. Only one of those is a problem, people.

So I guess my point is this. Bipolar shouldn't be called Bipolar. I'd prefer TPAGE- Two Poles And a Gigantic Equator. Or even Cerberus Syndrome. Or anything that automatically makes a person think of three sides to a person instead of two.

Isn't that funny? Everyone should be respected for the many facets of their emotions and reactions, depending on where they are in their life. Heaven forbid you limit them to two...

But say Bipolar, and I'm over here begging to be allowed three.