You know whats obnoxious? Your therapist/psychiatrist telling you to do things that make you feel like you're in the fourth grade. "Keep a journal, go to bed on time, make goals, get enough exercise, eat right,take your medications...and AVOID ALL STRESS. CALL ME if there is any change."
Pshhh. Seriously? I'm a grown-ass woman. I can do what I--
Oh. Wait. I can't, can I?
Because when I get stubborn, and try to pretend that these things don't make a difference, I DO get worse. I HATE IT. I hate that I now know that if I plan to go out, I can...but I can't drink much, and still need to go to bed at a somewhat reasonable time, so I can still get 7-9 hours of sleep. I hate that I HAVE A BEDTIME. Now, right now its all screwy because I am still coming down off of a bit of a sleep deprived state and my meds aren't quite right yet...but here soon, I'll have to hold myself to like a 10-11pm bedtime. UUGH.
And "avoid all stress"? Really? Has this woman ever seen my life? GAH!
Ok, enough whining.
So, I'm trying. I have a mood journal (the one I use I found here) and I generally remember to fill it out at least every 2 days. I have this blog to journal some of my thoughts, and I write the posts that I'm not sure I want to post yet in word and save them for later. I'm still terrible at actual "journaling"...but I think this is achieving the reflection that I need.
Goals-
a) be a good girl about my medication. if that means fighting TOOTH AND NAIL to pay for it, fighting with the insurance as I go than so be it. (there will be a long post about that in the future)
b) keep blogging or at least writing what could one day become posts
c) get the sleep I need, even if it means avoiding things I like (late night Dr Who marathons)
d) friggin get off my but and exercise at least 4 days a week, instead of my current 2.
Ok. See, I'm a good girl. I have my next appointment with my psych next week--Thursday @9:30 ("keep your appointments written somewhere you will remember to check")just to check and make sure the medication changes are going well. So far, so good.
I hate being treated like a child. But it would make ME childish if I didn't follow the advice. Especially when I see how well it works when I do follow it.
Ugh. Maturity sucks.
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